Pocket tools

For the moment itself

Short scripts you can open mid-conversation. They work offline, so they are there when you need them.

The Humanity QuestionWhen a conversation has hardened and you want it to open again.
  1. 1Ask: “Tell me something about your perspective that you think people like me don’t understand.”
  2. 2Say nothing for as long as it takes them to answer.
  3. 3Reflect it back: “So what you’re saying is… have I got that right?”
  4. 4Ask one more question before you say anything about yourself.
Steelman in Sixty SecondsBefore you argue against a position.
  1. 1State the other view in its strongest form, out loud or on paper.
  2. 2Name the value underneath it, not just the claim.
  3. 3Ask yourself: would someone who holds it say “yes, that’s what I mean”?
  4. 4Only then say where you differ.
De-escalation ScriptWhen the temperature is rising.
  1. 1Slow your own speech and lower your volume before anything else.
  2. 2Name the shift: “I notice this is getting heated. I don’t want that.”
  3. 3Restate their point without sarcasm.
  4. 4Offer a smaller question: “Can we take one piece of this at a time?”
  5. 5If needed, pause it: “Can we come back to this later? I want to think.”
Belief AuditBefore you share or act on something.
  1. 1What exactly is being claimed?
  2. 2What is the evidence, and who benefits if I believe it?
  3. 3What would have to be true for it to be wrong?
  4. 4How confident am I, honestly, from 0 to 100?
Position → Interest → ValueWhen a disagreement feels stuck.
  1. 1Write both positions: what each side says they want.
  2. 2Ask why for each: what interest does that serve?
  3. 3Ask why again: what value sits underneath?
  4. 4Look for the value both lists share. Start there.
Bias Spot-CheckWhen a judgment feels effortless and obvious.
  1. 1Am I only seeing evidence that fits what I already believe?
  2. 2Am I judging this group by its worst member?
  3. 3Would I accept this reasoning from someone I disagree with?
  4. 4What am I not seeing because it never reached me?

Want the longer version? Work through the modules.